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The weirdest trends from New York Fashion Week 2017 - including VAGINA skirts

The weirdest trends from New York Fashion Week 2017 - including VAGINA skirts

New York Fashion Week is about to come to a close, and we're all preparing ourselves for the London shows.

While Victoria Beckham showed off her most understated collection yet and Gigi Hadid lost a shoe while walking for Anna Sui, there have been some rather head-turning moments from the US.

Yep, while there's definitely been some lust-worthy looks from the catwalks (Tom Ford, Michael Kors, Carolina Herrera, to name but a few) others have left us scratching our heads.

See the weirdest trends from NYFW.

1. Heeled flipflops

Rihanna may have blown everyone away with her beauty collection this week, but we're not so sure about the footwear from her Fenty Beauty show - heeled flipflops.

Yep, while flipflops are the ultimate relaxed shoe (next to slippers) she's added a block heel to the holiday essential for the runway.

While they might look comfortable, we can't really see them catching on.

Put them in our room 101, next to Christopher Kane's embellished Crocs .

2. Vagina fashion

Remember when vagina nails were a thing? Sort of... not really. Well, now we give you vulva adorned garments. And they're quite detailed.

Nan Li and Emilia Pfohl, the Berlin-based designers behind Namilia, debuted a runway show, with a theme that focused on female gentilia.

The pair were inspired by Denis Diderots' 1748 novel The Indiscreet Jewels, in which there is an allegory telling the story of King Louis XV of France, who owns a magic ring with the power to make women's genitals ('jewels') talk.And the piece de resistance? A Marie Antoinette style gown, embellished with silky lady bits and a metallic bra, of course.

3. Bra bags

If you've ever put your keys, phone and/or wallet down your bra for safe-keeping, on a night out, this could be one for you.

Helmut Lang's spring show saw models strutting down the catwalk in unisex-style clothing, with a fetish edge. Think nipple pasties, PVC coats and... oversized bags shaped like bras.

Worn around the chest or carried like a clutch by both female and male models, the bags featured zipper compartments over each breast.

Handy, but not very supportive, we think you'll agree.

It's certainly a showstopping return for the brand to NYFW after a 12 year absence.

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Underboob fashion is sweeping New York Fashion Week… but would you be bold enough to try the trend?

Italian sportswear brand GCDS' show is one that everyone is talking about because of their boob-bearing garments.

Shownotes declared the theme a “wet dream” - and it wasn't hard to see why.

The designer's flashy wares — a colorful mashup of mesh miniskirts, thigh-high boots and skimpy bikini tops styled with fanny packs and glittery chokers — delivered.

If this wasn't enough to keep the audience interested, multiple models wore extreme crop tops revealing a lot of skin.

As well as showing off the ladies' toned torsos, the statement shirts left their underboobs on full display.

One model was dressed in sheer trousers and a cut-out top.

Another risked a wardrobe malfunction as she bravely strut down the catwalk in a risque top with the caption: "Meme is my culture".

You raise a beady-eyed point, Marina. I, too, was taken aback by Melania’s recent choice of a long, loose, knitted Missoni dress for her trip to Camp David, and if you’re asking why then a clue is in the description. It was a beautiful dress, no question, but it didn’t exactly fit in with Melania’s usual glamazon-fembot-princess perfect style. You can imagine Donald Trump looking at it and asking his wife why she was wearing a table cloth, because it dared to hang loosely.

I imagine the president’s reactions to his wife’s clothes are the inverse of my father’s to mine. I’ll walk in wearing a new dress and he’ll ask if I forgot to put on a skirt with my nice new top. Trump, by contrast, likes clothes that scream “I look like something the girlfriend of a villain in a 1980s movie would wear”, and that means solid coloured, body fitted, showing a lot of leg and quite possibly designed by Isaac Mizrahi. They need to be clothes that are visibly expensive, because that, in Trump’s mind, then insinuates the lady wearing them lives with a big man who makes a lot of money and that’s super important, because a man who has lots of money is guaranteed to be extremely smart and have an enormous penis and that’s a scientific fact. Think Jerry Hall’s wardrobe in Tim Burton’s first Batman movie and you pretty much have Trump’s ideal wardrobe for his ladies. (Incidentally, by “ladies” I obviously mean the various wives he has had over the decades and also, just as obviously but a bit more creepily, his eldest daughter.)

Now, the knitted Missoni dress definitely doesn’t fit the above brief. Yes, it cost at least £1,500 but it is a fashion dress, and Trump’s taste is the opposite of fashion, or, at least, fashion as it is now. He loved fashion in the 1980s, when it was all about ostentation and shoulder pads, and the coolest accessory you could wear with your Christian Lacroix gown was its price tag. But all this new-fangled modern tricksy subtle understatement jazz? No siree, Bob. Put it this way, he would NOT be happy if Melania came home with a giant shopping bag from Vetements, ironic fashion meta referencing not really being his scene. As for a knitted dress, well. You can imagine Trump looking at it and making like the great Joan Cusack in Working Girl: “Six thousand dollars? It’s not even leather!” So to me, that Missoni dress was the sartorial version of Melania slapping her husband’s hand away, or refusing to hold his hand, or whatever minuscule acts of rebellion many of us have longed to see from the woman once known as Melanija Knavs.

But, as is often the case with Melania, this act of rebellion was quickly followed by an act of conformity so blithe and lacking in self-awareness it can only be described as Trumpian. A mere two days after Missonigate, Melania strode on into heelgate, when she was photographed flying off to Houston, which seemed to have been washed out into the Gulf of Mexico, in the highest heels ever worn on feet that weren’t actually made out of Barbie plastic. Commentators snorted, but there was something almost admirable in her lack of pretence. I mean, come on, did anyone really think that blow dry was going out into the storm, let alone wading through bacteria-infested water, to help the little people who now help to pay for her lifestyle? Please.

Adorably, she later released a statement in response to the criticism of her shoes: “I want to be able to offer my help and support in the most productive way possible, not through just words but also action.” Hard to know what is the most hilarious part of this statement, the suggestion that Melania ever offers any words, ever, or that she was showing she was ready for “action” in her stilettos. In Melania’s defence, she did change into (pristine white) trainers on the plane ride over but, really, look at the state of this situation: as she was on her way ostensibly to visit people whose lives have been irrevocably destroyed, she used her departure as a fashion moment, posing for photographers in her puffa jacket and stilettos. And then, just to make sure the point was made, she did it again last week. Oh, and by the way, those ready-for-action trainers? They were accessorised with a baseball cap, reading Flotus, matching her husband’s Potus cap, both of which are available to buy on the Trump website. Because nothing says “serving the country” when you use a visit to a disaster zone as an advertising opportunity.

So in short, Marina, perhaps the Melaniabot had a minor malfunction and was swiftly fixed by those technological geniuses, Trump and his Lurch-like sons. Or maybe it was a deliberate teeny tiny act of rebellion on her part only for her to recant quickly and get back on the Trump train. So whatever nascent resistance there was, it is, as yet, remaining very nascent. Sit back down, Trump men. The flash of insurgency has been successfully snuffed out.

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Hats in fashion don’t always have to mean outlandish creations worthy of Ascot. Sometimes, a bit of DIY mixed with anarchic dress-up goes a long way. See Marta Jakubowski, who re-worked coloured net into bags worn over heads, or face masks that looked like the ones worn by bank robbers at Gareth Pugh. Christopher Kane had distressed leather hats by Stephen Jones, while Erdem’s were a bit like the one worn by Robinson Crusoe, though probably not made of the scraps found on a fictional desert island. The takeaway? SS17 is a very selfie-friendly season.


is enjoying something of a moment right now – largely thanks to Vetementsdesigner Demna Gvasalia and his penchant for an old Sisters of Mercy T-shirt, and the use of gothic script on hoodies. Preen took this to the next level with its collection, which featured a whole lot of black, stompy boots and lace. There was also that goth favourite – the pentagram – with flowers as a print on pretty chiffon frilly dresses and soft bikers. Forget Insta-models. Emily the Strange, Wednesday Addams and Elvira are the cool girl’s style icons this season, with Aleister Crowley and Wilkie Collins the required reading.

The kick flare

The death knoll of the skinny jean is forever being sounded – with little effect. But, judging by the fashion editors at London fashion week, there is certainly a solid contender for the skinny’s replacement. Enter the kick flare – basically skinny jeans with a little bounce out from the knee, typically worn cropped at the ankle with raw hems. Think Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, rather than anyone in the 70s. The kick flare has been getting play on the catwalk as well as the front row, at Marques’ Almeida, Erdem and Ryan Lo, suggesting it will go into spring as well. To get it now, go to Topshop, where a pair of kick flares can be bought for

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